


Tears Don't Fall

by brokencasbutt67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Missing Limbs, Nightmares, Paralysis, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 16:44:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8675050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokencasbutt67/pseuds/brokencasbutt67





	

**Tears fall from Sam’s eyes as Dean’s eyes rake over him. Cuts and scars cover his naked body.**

**“When were you gonna tell me about this?” Dean asks, angrily. More tears fall from Sam’s eyes, but he doesn’t make to speak.**

**“Or wasn’t you gonna tell me? Sammy, if you wanna kill yourself, go for it. Just don’t expect me to stop you” Dean says before storming out of the motel room. Loud sobs leave Sam’s throat. Gabriel pops into view a minute later.**

**“Hey, you okay?” Gabriel asks, passing Sam some trousers. Gabriel turns away as Sam pulls the trousers on. Sam sits down onto the sunken bed, Gabriel sits beside him.**

**“You saw all of that huh” Sam asks, sighing. Gabriel nods, rubbing over Sam’s arm.**

**“After Jess, everything got so hard” Sam starts, a single tear falling. Gabriel wipes the tear away, showing the first signs of affection since falling from Heaven and losing his grace.**

**“Dean isn’t any help, as you saw” Sam continues. Gabriel pulls Sam into a side-ways hug.**

**“It felt like the easiest way to be close to someone I love, but then I fell in love with someone else” Sam adds. Gabriel strokes Sam’s hair.**

**“And it all built up until I just couldn’t take it all just – sob- exploded” Sam cried, bursting into uncontrollable sobs. Gabriel lays back on the bed and pulls Sam on top of him.**

**“I know what you’re going through” Gabriel says quietly.**

**“I love someone, but I know he won’t love me back. That, along with losing 75 % of my grace is making my life harder to live than I ever thought it would be” Gabriel admits, his own tears falling. Sam rolls over and looks at Gabriel, with confusion showing on his face.**

**“He? Didn’t know you swung that way, well if it makes you feel better, I do too. The man I like really wouldn’t like me back, I’m the demon blood boy” Sam says. Sam’s thoughts hit Gabriel’s mind as loud as an plane crash.**

**‘When will he realize it is me’ Sam’s thinks. Gabriel leans over and presses a gentle kiss to Sam’s lips.**

**“A good idea would be  to not think about this stuff, isn’t it” Sam comments. Gabriel chuckles before leaning over and kissing Sam on the lips one more time before Sam pulls the duvet over them both and they fall asleep, wrapped in each other’s’ embrace.**

Meanwhile, Sam is tossing and turning in his bed. Gabriel knows it is a nightmare but he can't stop it....but he can try. He wraps his arms around Sam and hugs him tightly, waking Sam up.

"Woah, shit that was so real" Sam mutters. He hugs Gabriel tightly as tears begin falling.

"Come on Sammy, sleep" Gabriel whispers, before settling into Sam's warmth as best as possible. Sam eventually gets back to sleep, witih his arms wrapped around Gabriel.

While Gabriel slept peacefully, Sam contemplated many things. The biggest thing on his mind, however, was not Dean and Castiel. It wasn’t his inability to use his left arm. It wasn’t even the fact that Gabriel couldn’t use his legs.

It was the fact that Sam wasn’t able to get rid of Gabriel’s dreams.  Gabriel rolled over and lay on top of Sam, grunting slightly. Sam smiled down at Gabriel, who was still asleep, before stroking his head.

‘If only’

Sam thought, Gabriel’s sleeping body looked so innocent, so young while he slept. When in reality, Gabriel is actually a 23 year old man who is unable to use his legs. Their combined age is 45, yet they have both seen so much pain, so much death. Sam thinks there is something wrong in their lives.

The tattoos on Gabriel’s arm show song lyrics from Gabriel’s favourite songs, along with Sam’s name, they all covered scars on Gabriel’s arms. Sam leaned down and kissed the scars on Gabriel’s arms before pulling his phone out from the bed side table. He pulled his earphones out too and pressed play on one of his songs:

“Heaven's waiting for you” Matt Tuck’s quiet singing in Say Goodnight relaxed Sam as the sad thoughts went through his mind.

Sam remembers when he had found out that Dean and Castiel were dead after a plane crash.

**He was only in his early teens, but he had been living on his own when he had started the relationship with Gabriel, just a fortnight before. As soon as they got together, Gabriel made Sam move in with him because Sam was homeless. Sam is still grateful for that now. The night that Sam got that phone call was the worst night of his life: he had the worst day at work. He returned home to Gabriel where they cuddled until approximately 9 pm, not turning on the television to watch the news. The phone rang loudly, waking Gabriel up. Sam smirked and carried Gabriel to bed before answering the phone that was in their bedroom. Sam slumped onto the bed as he heard what the person said:**

**“We are sad to inform you that Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak have died in a plane incident” Gabriel had rolled over and pulled Sam so that he was lying beside him. Gabriel didn’t ask; he knew there wouldn’t be an answer. Sam would answer the next day, when he refused to move from the bed.**

**“Sammy?” Gabriel asked, pulling Sam from his thoughts. He looked down and realised that Gabriel had taken his phone away and was looking at him with concern in his eyes. Sam hugged Gabriel tightly and cried. Gabriel pressed a gentle kiss to Sam’s neck before rubbing Sam’s back.**

“You wanna go back to sleep” Gabriel asks. Sam nods, not trusting his voice.  A song lyric pops into Gabriel’s mind about how he feels when Sam cries.

 

“Your tears don’t fall, they crash around me”

 

Gabriel looks around the room, Sam has gone into the garden to relax.

“Perfect” Gabriel mutters. He pulls a pen knife from the drawer beside his bed, but he doesn’t hear the door open and slam shut. He only realises that Sam is stood in the corner is when it’s too late. He has already pulled the blade across his thigh, causing a hot sob to leave Sam’s throat. Blood bubbles at the top of the cut before it begins it's journey down the length of Gabriel's thigh, staining the bedsheets. ' **Sam should be angry, he should leave. Leave me alone like the worthless thing I am** ' Gabriel thinks. Sam shocks Gabriel with his next actions.

“Gabe?” Sam asks, slowly making his way towards Gabriel. Tears fall from Gabriel’s eyes. Sam wipes away the tears and pulls Gabriel into his lap. Sam cleans the wound and bandages it, it’s only one cut but it’s deep.

“Sammy...” Gabriel trails off before realising, he can’t do this. He can’t face the reality of his life. A loud sob leaves his throat and Sam pulls Gabriel’s head into his neck.

“Gabe?” Sam asks again.

“It’s s-so hard t-to cope. Sammy...I can’t do this anymore...I-I want it all to be over” Gabriel cries, stuttering over his words.

“Gabe Gabe, I know it’s hard, I really do. But I’m here for you, if you end it, I’ll end it too. I love you too much to let you do this Gabe, please, don’t leave me” Sam cries, trying to hide his face from Gabriel. 

“I-I don’t like not being able t-to help you...I h-hate watching you struggle” Gabriel continues.

“G-Gabe, it might be a struggle but I like caring for you...I promised you that if w-we survived I would care for you, no matter how bad it was. Remember?” Sam says, hugging Gabriel tightly. Tears fall down both men’s faces. Gabriel hugs Sam into his chest as best as possible.

“I love you Gabe, don’t ever forget that” Sam whispers, kissing Gabriel’s cheek.

“W-ow uhm...okay....I love you too Samsquatch, I really do” Gabriel responds, wiping away his tears.

For the first time in their relationship, they have said the three words which mean so much to some people, but others throw it around with so little care. But Sam? He’s never had a relationship. And Gabriel? He’s had relationships, but never said the 8 letters, 3 words that would change his life in ways he didn’t think possible. 

Sam smiled down at Gabriel, who was asleep. 

“I love you Gabriel Novak, more than anything else in this fucked up world” Sam whispers.

“Mmh I love you too Sammy” Gabriel responds. Sam reaches into the drawer beside the bed and pulls out a small box; he hides it in his pocket before Gabriel can see it.  

“You wanna go out for a bit?” Sam asks. Gabriel nods and reaches into the drawer beside the bed. He grabs a t-shirt and puts it on. Sam helps Gabriel into some jeans before dressing himself in some jeans. Sam helps Gabriel put his shoes on and he puts his own on. Sam helps Gabriel into his wheelchair. He grabs the small box from the pocket of his sweatpants and puts it into his pocket.

“C’mon then” He says. He helps push Gabriel out of the house.

“Car or walking?” Gabriel asks.

“Given that it’s a nice night, and it’s early, I will walk and push you” Sam says. Gabriel nods and slides down the ramp Sam built. Sam follows Gabriel, chuckling. Sam pushes Gabriel into a field that they go to, there is a small hill where they usually watch the sunset.

Sam pushes Gabriel up the hill before putting the brakes on, on Gabriel’s wheelchair. Sam then helps Gabriel out of his wheel chair and lays him on the floor, lying beside him. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Gabriel says. 

“Yes you are” Sam responds, not focusing as he is staring at Gabriel. He feels the box in his pocket. Now is the perfect time Sam thinks. Sam pulls the box out of his pocket and opens it in front of Gabriel.

“W-Will y-you marry m-me?” Sam stutters, feeling like an idiot.

“Oh my god Sammy yes” Gabriel says. Sam puts the ring onto Gabriel’s finger before hugging him tightly.  Sam kisses Gabriel passionately, hand sliding down his back. Gabriel pulls away and lays on his side, holding Sam’s hand in his own. Sam smiles and looks at the sunset.

If anyone didn’t know the truth about them, they would only see a couple who are madly in love, but for those who know them, it’s the same. The minor things, like Gabriel being paralyzed, don’t affect the relationship. Because they are in love. And love is loving someone no matter what happens. Nothing can break true love, as it is one of the strongest forces the human body can produce.


End file.
